Happily Never After
by WhitePhoenixTail
Summary: The Voltori has just left, and is well. Or is it? Someone's from Edward's past shows up to cause problems. Only Edward's name isn't Edward it's something else entirely. Short one-shot. Cracking fic.


p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" The Voltori had just barely left the clearing, and everyone was about to turn around and start their journey to their homes or to the Cullen house to celebrate. However, before anyone could do just that, a blinding white light appears out of nowhere 20 feet in front of the group. And out of the light, out steps a man. A horrible, disgusting, revolting man. He was deathly pale, but not quite like a vampire, but more like the color of a drowned corpse. He was bald, had blood red eyes with slit pupils. He didn't even have a nose, just two small slit holes in the middle of his face. He had impossibly long fingers that were currently spinning a long wooden stick in his hands absent mindedly. And everyone could hear Alice silently fuming about the man's wardrobe. He was wearing an old (it's not even a well preserved antique for crying out loud) tattered black robe, that looked like it went ten rounds with a really bad dry cleaners, and the robe won. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" Anyway, this man, whom was called "The Dark Lord Voldemort", was swiftly taking in his surroundings. When his eyes landed on Edward. To the outward appearance, it looked like Voldemort was calm, and composed, merely assessing the situation. What non of them, yes including Edward and Jasper, knew was that this horribly dress man was slightly freaking out. Thinking that this man was supposed to be dead, he saw him die. So why isn't he? Coming to the conclusion that he must have subverted death, and become immortal, and if not immortal then very long lived, if the golden eyes were anything to go by. This caused a spark of annoyance and rage within Voldemort's chest, thinking that he and he alone can be allowed to become immortal. All this happened within a second. Let it be know, that Voldemort may be many things, murderer, monster, among many other things. However, slow was not one of them. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" "Didn't I kill you already?" Voldemort asked in a deathly calm voice. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" Edward only had time to think, 'Aw, crap. Not again.' And before anyone could do or say anything, another blinding flash of light appeared, and when the light disappeared Edward Cullen, formally known as Cedric Diggory, was dead. Again. His family gathered around his body, and as soon as Bella and Carlisle touched it, it crumbled away into not but ash, that flew away with the next gust of breeze. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" Like I said, you just don't put Voldemort and slow in the same sentence. It's just never been done befo- never mind. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" Voldemort then took his leave. Going on an world wide killing spree, killing anyone and anything that took his fancy, and not even the Voltori, in all their might could stop him. Within five years, he was the undisputed ruler of the world. Both normal and supernatural. He ruled on his throne, for the rest of all time. Because of his horcruxes he could not be killed. And although rebellions often came up every ten or so years, Lord Voldemort was quick to squash the rebellion, each and every time. And they all lived happily never after. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" Or at least he would have, if Bella hadn't been quick to rip his head off as he was turning to leave. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" After that, most of them left back for their own homes, while the Cullen's and their close friends and family went back to the Cullen house to have a makeshift funeral for Edward. Bella then spent the rest of her existence mourning for her late husband and Mate. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;" /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"!- [if gte mso 9]xmlw:WordDocumentw:BrowserLevelMicrosoftInternetExplorer4/w:BrowserLevelw:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery0/w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEveryw:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery2/w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEveryw:DocumentKindDocumentNotSpecified/w:DocumentKindw:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing7.8 font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"磅/span/font/w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacingw:PunctuationKerning/w:PunctuationKerningw:ViewNormal/w:Vieww:Compatibility/w:BalanceSingleByteDoubleByteWidth/w:DoNotExpandShiftReturn/w:Compatibilityw:Zoom0/w:Zoom/w:WordDocument/xml![endif]-!- [if gte mso 9]xml

/xml![endif]-!-StartFragment-!-EndFragment- !-[endif]-/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: 'yes'; font-family: Calibri; font face="Nimbus Mono L, monospace"span lang="zh-CN"宋体/span/font;'times new roman';font-size: 10.5000pt;"THE END/span/p  
!-EndFragment- 


End file.
